coldgoldlazarus:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It’s me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here’s the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)

Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.

Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!

Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks

Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!

Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row

xbuster:

toskarin:

toskarin:

look I’m not mad that tumblr live is apparently filled with porn. that’s normal and probably healthy. I’m mad that they get to do that and I get my kamen rider crossover wrestling post flagged even though they were in FULL BODY SUITS

it was physically impossible for them to show anything objectionable! not even any dick! they were wrestling!

chiimeramanticore:

rlyehtaxidermist:

had a dream someone had edited the defunctland “a powerful rat named charles entertainment cheese” into a sentence mix that was something like

a powerful pppppppprat named charles [long audio pause the exact length of “entertainment cheese”] [the fade in is charles windsor] [a bike horn remix of god save the king starts playing] [wilhelm scream] [charles gets whacked in the head by a map showing a united ireland, independent scotland, and for whatever reason the angevin empire’s french holdings]

something like this i think

toskarin:

toskarin:

the oedipal task of doing the dishes

SISYPHEQN SISYPHEAN

shipperwolf1:

*somewhere in the aetherial sea*

Emet-Selch:

Elidibus:

Emet-Selch:

Elidibus:

Elidibus: so anyway the WoL loves me more.

Emet-Selch: I liked you better when you had amnesia.

oliviawebsite:

if the unreliable narrator is more than 15 minutes late to your inner monologue you are allowed to leave and break free of the metanarrative forever

toskarin:

[ace combat briefing voice] you’re never gonna guess it, but someone’s gone rogue with a nuclear weapon again

maestrosmassacre:

we need a fictional wheelchair user who does all the unrealistic bullshit cars and motorcycles do in fiction. i wanna see a wheelchair do the akira slide. i need a high speed chase with a nitro-fuelled wheelchair where the character out-maneuvers cop cars. does anyone understand me

lichposting:

lichposting:

I’m really enamored with the dynamic of two characters who work perfectly in tandem, like pacific rim drift compatible level, but they don’t like each other. It’s not even as strong an emotion as hate it’s just a very neutral-negative dislike, but they still act in perfect concert and their individual abilities are fully complementary